Round Two

Today starts round two of chemo.

It's not where I had hoped to be.

I had really hoped that round one would knock out enough of the leukemia cells to get me to the next step: a stem cell transplant. But it didn't. So today, we go again.

On Monday, I learned that my blast count hadn't actually come down to 11% like I had initially thought. It was 25%. Either way, it's considered a partial response to the first round of chemo, but I can't lie and say hearing that number didn't mess with my head a little.

In my mind, getting from 11% to the 5% felt doable.

Getting from 25% to 5% feels a little harder.

But I'm good at doing hard things.

So for the next five days, I could use all the prayers, positive thoughts, healing vibes, good juju, whatever you've got, sent out into the universe that this round does exactly what we need it to do.

The plan is five days of IV chemotherapy in the hospital. Then, assuming everything goes according to plan, I get to go home and return to my familiar Monday, Wednesday, Friday routine at VCU for bloodwork, monitoring, and transfusions if I need them. If I spike a fever at any point, it's straight back to the hospital.

Oh, and since my hair has continued its steady departure, I finally committed to a wig, I went with the short blonde number for now. Still shopping for others.

And while all of this is happening, life keeps moving.

The kids started school. Graham is in 1st grade, Etta is in 2nd, and Keeler is in 5th. They all ended up with wonderful teachers this year, which gives me a huge sense of relief. We have an entire village surrounding them, ready to step in wherever they're needed.

Keeler turned 11 on August 21st, and his only birthday request was a family dinner at a Mexican restaurant. So that's exactly what we did. He got a new MacBook Neo and was absolutely over the moon.

Now we're preparing for Graham's 7th birthday. Graham has... a few more demands than Keeler, so we'll see how that goes.

My niece's (Anna Chase’s) cheer team is fundraising for Blood Cancer United, and their team name is #TeamAnnStrong. I don't even have the words for how much that means to me.

In the middle of all of this, I continue to be completely overwhelmed by people's kindness.

The meals have been incredible. The gift cards, packages, cards, phone calls, messages, and well wishes just keep coming. Someone even left the sweetest floral box filled with goodies on my porch, and whoever you are, please tell me because I want to thank you!

Cancer sucks.

There's really no more eloquent way to say it.

But finding out just how strong your village is when you really, really need them? That doesn't suck.

There are moments when the numbers scare me. There are moments when the plan changes and I have to recalibrate. There are moments when I wish more than anything that I could skip ahead to the part where all of this is behind me.

But then I look around.

My kids are happy and starting a new school year. My family is here. My friends keep showing up. My community is feeding us, checking on us, praying for us, making us laugh, and carrying pieces of this when they become too heavy.

So today, I walk back into the hospital for round two. Not necessarily where I wanted to be. But still moving forward.

And despite everything, I still consider myself super lucky.

Now let's get from 25 to 5.