Life Between the Labs

Since coming home from the hospital, life has settled into a strange new rhythm.

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I head back to VCU for lab work. They check my blood counts to see whether I need a red blood cell or platelet transfusion and, most importantly, whether my bone marrow is starting to recover from the chemotherapy.

It takes up a surprising amount of time. There is driving and parking and blood draws and waiting for results and nurse consults. But there is a lot of life happening in between.

My hair has continued to fall out, which isn't particularly fun, but I have decided that wigs absolutely can be. I've been trying on different looks, which is fun.

My sister came to town, which meant two things: I got some much-needed quality time with her, and my entire house got reorganized.

Sarah channels nervous energy into productivity, so no closet, cabinet, drawer, or room in my house was safe. She went through everything, rearranging and organizing as she went. And honestly? My house has never looked better.

We've eaten ridiculously well. The amount of food people continue to send is incredible, and every time something new shows up at the door, I'm reminded just how loved we are.

I've had friends come visit me at home. After weeks of hospital walls and appointments and conversations about blood counts, sitting on my couch laughing with people I love feels perfect.

And best of all, I've gotten to be here to get the kids ready for the first day of school. I'll get to see them off and that feels like an enormous gift.

There has been hard stuff too, of course. Cancer doesn't just happen to the person who has it. It causes an earthquake for everyone in its atmosphere. Everyone I love is trying to find their footing while the ground keeps shifting underneath us.

There are emotions and logistics and fear and uncertainty. There are conversations I never imagined we'd have to have.

But right now, I'm choosing to focus on the good. Because mindset matters. I keep telling everyone the same thing: This isn't the thing that takes me out. I've been training for this fight my entire life.

That’s what Becoming Brave is really about. Looking back at everything that came before this and realizing that every hard thing taught me something. Every time I had to get back up, rebuild, advocate for myself, protect the people I love, or keep moving when stopping would have been easier, I was learning how to do this.

I haven't been writing nearly as much since I've been home. Somehow the days disappear between appointments and kids and visitors and trying to soak up as much normal life as possible.

But I haven't forgotten about this story. And I promise I'm going to tell it….all of it.