Since Friday, we have mostly been waiting.
The preliminary bone marrow results showed that I am in remission, but there are still more pieces of the biopsy coming in. I have seen some of those results, and they look encouraging, but I am trying not to interpret everything on my own. I will wait to hear what Dr. Bouligny says when I meet with him on Friday. Hopefully, then we will have a clearer picture of what comes next.
In the meantime, I have been given some unexpected but very appreciated family time.
My sister flew to Houston on Saturday to join my dad and I, and then my mom and the kids arrived on Sunday. My blood counts are recovering, and I actually have a few white blood cells again, so this is a good window for them to visit before the stem cell transplant process begins and the infection precautions become much stricter.
It has been a great week so far. After how hard it was to leave my children in Virginia, having them here with me has been exactly what I needed. There is noise in the house again. There are kids running around, asking for snacks, laughing, arguing and needing things. The quiet that felt so heavy when I first arrived is gone for a little while.
I am trying to notice these moments of happiness within all the chaos.
I also went apartment hunting, which made me feel like a college student again- touring different places and trying to imagine where I might want to live. Except this time, instead of choosing a place for a new semester, I am choosing where to unpack my bags while I wait for a stem cell transplant.
I found a great apartment that will work for the next phase, however long that may be. Having somewhere to settle in makes this strange, temporary life feel slightly more manageable.
I am in an odd state of mind right now. Part of me wants to push everything forward as quickly as humanly possible. I want the donor selected, the testing completed and the transplant scheduled. I want to keep moving while I am in remission.
At the same time, I know that once the process begins, life will change again. There will be more chemo, hospitalization, isolation and strict precautions. So, I am trying to appreciate this pause, the time with my children, my parents and my sister before everything becomes harder again.
So for now, I am holding both things at once: the urgency to move forward and the gratitude for these days together. I am praying for encouraging results, a clear plan and the fastest possible path to transplant…but I am also trying to be present for the happiness right in front of me.
